At times, I {Ken} hear about some pretty off base things written about us by our detractors. We try to avoid reading them and Lori does a good job of hitting the delete button on some pretty silly and often derogatory comments by a small subset of anti-fundamentalist watchers. We must fascinate them by how we live and what we write as it goes so contrary to their belief system, or feminist agenda.
Recently, to my surprise, I
discovered that all my children were living off of me as no fundamentalist
children can get good jobs with good pay. I had a good chuckle
at this baseless assertion that seems to have been made because our
daughter asked, as a joke, if Mom would get her a massive puzzle {18,000 pieces!} for
Christmas, and because of its size, she also joked about needing a table to put
it on. Then the apartment would be too small, so could she have a larger
apartment too? {with a Ha Ha!}
The old telephone game we
used to play as kids pales in comparison to the conclusions reached when one
person puts only a piece of truth on the Net and then another "agenda
bound" person takes it and twists it like a pretzel, sending it on through
a filter of idle speculation; mischaracterizations that results in outright
lies. For instance, no one is quite sure in one small group exactly why Lori
writes what she writes and teaches what she teaches. It couldn't be
because the Bible actually teaches this stuff about submission, keepers at
home and loving your husband. No, Lori must hate women, or her relationship
with Ken is so messed up with both of us beating each other daily, that this
propels us to write such things. This is the polar opposite
of the truth as it is the love for women and wives that propels Lori
to countless hours of study and counseling that bears much
fruit from her writings.
Look
at what we actually stand for; we want Christian women everywhere to come back
to God’s values of loving and respecting their husbands. Lori wants wives to be
keepers at home; to not have to work two jobs, but to be able to focus on their
God given role as the primary nurturer of family. Lori admonishes that women
show their love by submitting to their husband's leadership and
trying to please him; while I teach men to love their wives as Christ loves the
church by always showing leadership in a Christian way. We clearly denounce any
form of abuse, control or unchristian behavior in a marriage, but because Lori
teaches what the Bible teaches on submission, somehow we become the enemy to
some who fear our biblical perspectives. They see any husband leading a wife as
by definition a form of abuse even if she willingly follows.
We
can’t do much in today’s world about those who gossip behind an anonymous
moniker on the Internet. If you read things about us that are outside of what
you know us to be from the blog, rest assured, if it is anything outside of
being Christian, it is not true. We are willing to have our
imperfect lives measured against the fruit of the Spirit, but we
cannot play "whack a lie" with those who once hiding online do not
show ethics that match up to their own stated values.
Not
only are each and every one of our children doing well spiritually and great by
the world's standards, they also all have hearts for doing things God's ways.
The idea that fundamentalist children cannot be
successful is blown away by all of our children and
their terrific spouses. The girls are all highly intelligent, yet
want to use their wisdom and knowledge for building God's kingdom. They
make our guys so much better to be freed to work hard providing very well for
their families, yet still be able to have great family lives.
All
the children run their own lives and pay their own way in life.
This should dispel the myth that fundamentalist kids carry a
strange stigma that keeps them from being able to achieve good careers.
It is so far from the truth as almost any young adult taught a
mandatory ethic of hard work, and being the best they can be, will be able to
provide well for their family.
We
all live reasonable lives with how we spend, and my daughter is happy with her
$40 Craigslist table and her inexpensive apartment. {Thank you student
housing!} She is especially thrilled with her choice of husband, Ryan, who is a gem in many ways, works hard, and is a much loved addition to the family. But if you
have an extra few dollars this Christmas for a puzzle, she is supporting a
dental student on a part-time job, and she loves puzzles!
As
for my relationship with Lori, it has never been better! We have our moments
where we may miscommunicate, or I am stressed by the job, when we do not
connect as well, but you will rarely find a negative tone of voice or cross
word. We are far too mature as believers to stay trapped in past bad behaviors,
and besides, it is easy for me as she is almost always practicing what she
teaches. Love, kindness, generosity, caring, helping each other, being best
friends and companions, and lovers; these are the things that characterize us,
and our home, moment by moment, almost every day. We truly love each other with
a sense of oneness, and we would be lost without the other to walk every day
hand in hand around the park. This is a far cry from the
fabrications of the Internet Hidebehinds.
We
have many great joys this holiday season as we look back this year with family
and ministry. Lori hears from 3-4 people every day what an impact her writings
and blog have had in helping them grow up into Christ Jesus and becoming the
godly spouse God has called them to be. These testimonies of how God is working
through His Word to change lives gives us many personal connections. After all,
how many couples can minister together and watch the fruit of their ministry
blossom in their children and their readers almost every day. We also share
many laughs from some of the silly comments meant to distract us and the
readers from the truth. But it can also get annoying at times.
Thank
you for those of you who support Lori’s blog, and please keep us in your
prayers that the task of swatting the silly comments will not grow wearisome
for Lori. Her health seems to have turned the corner for the good, so we hope
for many years of Always Learning and mentoring those who desire to learn from
an older Christian couple who could have done it far better earlier in our lives had we been given
the wisdom taught here. To dispel another myth; Lori has months of pre-written
material as a lack of godly wisdom is rampant in today's society. She makes
all decisions about the blog. I just help out when asked.
We
have nothing to hide, and perhaps someday a few of the detractors will come to
visit with us and see that what we have is for real. No pretense, not all talk,
just a faithful attempt to walk in the Spirit of God, and to believe and teach
all of God’s Word, even the parts that are opposed to worldly thinking. For we
have but one life to give, and we have chosen to live it sold out to Jesus; the
one we call Savior and Lord. And if you fall short of God's Word, rest assured
that there is much forgiveness and understanding from the Lord and
from us. We did too many things wrong and only hope to save a few from our
years of upsets and disobedience.
May
the Lord bless you all this Christmas season as we seek God together where He
can be found in His Word and in the hearts and minds of those who have chosen
to accept Jesus as the little baby who is the King of Kings. May His peace be
upon you, and may our detractors be at peace with allowing us to
share our message of the Good News that brings not only salvation,
but changed lives and marriages.
For our exhortation was not of deceit, nor of uncleanness, nor in
guile: But as we were allowed of God to be put in trust with the gospel,
even so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, which tries our
hearts. As you know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of
you, as a father doth his children, that you would walk worthy of God, who
hath called you unto his kingdom and glory.
I
Thessalonians 2:3-4 & 11-12
