Did you know that your marriage will NEVER get better if there is no confession? If you are only concerned about your spouse changing and never pointing the finger at yourself, there is little hope for the marriage to ever improve. "Confession is the doorway to growth and change in your relationship. It is essential. It is fundamental. Without it, you are relegated to a cycle of repeated and deepening patterns of misunderstanding, wrong, and conflict. With it, the future is bright and hopeful, no matter how big the issues that you are now facing" {Paul David Tripp}.
For 23 years, my finger was pointed at Ken. He was the reason our marriage was difficult. Then I read Debi Pearl's book and she pointed her finger right at me. Ken had previously talked to me until he was blue in the face to get me to see my fault but I couldn't see it. As soon as I realized my part in the difficulty of our marriage, our marriage began on the path of healing. There can be no healing without confession. Marriages are destroyed for lack of confession if one or both of the spouses have too much pride to confess their faults. No one is perfect and the quicker we see the areas we need to change, the quicker our marriage will get better.
I have mentored many women in the past ten years. The first time I mentor them, all they can talk about are all the ways their husbands have failed them. Have you ever talked to a woman who has gotten divorced? All she talks about is how horrible her ex was. She never tells what her part was in the destruction of her marriage.
Once I can get a woman to admit what she was doing to hurt the marriage, I know the marriage can be healed and is on the right path. When I can help them see the positive qualities of their husband, their attitudes begin changing.
We were talking in the chat room about our spouses appreciating us. However, if we want our spouses to show appreciation and affection towards us, we must be the one to begin showing appreciation and affection towards them for we reap what we sow. If we sow bitterness, lack of forgiveness, and coldness, we will reap these qualities from our husband. If we sow love, kindness, and grace, we will eventually reap them from our husband since God plainly tells us that we do indeed reap what we sow.
Begin sowing life into your marriage. Stop looking at what your husband is doing wrong. He's human and so are you. Begin finding things about him to be thankful for. Begin speaking words of appreciation to him. Begin smiling at him and being joyful with him and you can bet in a while, he will be giving them right back to you. Whatever it is that you've been wanting from him, give it to him in abundance!
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
James 5:16
